It’s been over a decade since Hilarie Burton left One Tree Hill, however the recollections — each completely satisfied and painful — stay along with her.
In her new memoir, The Rural Diaries — out Could 5 — Burton opens up about her household and her joyful life on a 100-acre farm within the Hudson Valley. However within the e-book, the actress additionally writes in regards to the abuse she says she suffered whereas starring on the CW’s hit teen drama sequence.
“I had such robust relationships on the present and I nonetheless do,” Burton, 37, who was on the present for six years earlier than she left in 2009, tells PEOPLE. “There was a lot good. However there was dangerous too.”
In 2017, Burton, together with a number of of her former costars and One Tree Hill crew members, got here ahead about alleged sexual abuse and harassment they endured by the hands of creator Mark Schwahn.
For extra from Hilarie Burton, decide up this week’s difficulty of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday
Burton recollects being “groomed,” by Schwahn on set, whom she stated in 2017 was verbally abusive, touched her inappropriately and kissed her in opposition to her will. (Schwahn has by no means commented on the allegations and was fired from his job as showrunner in 2017.)
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However regardless of the scenario, Burton, then in her early 20s, didn’t formally complain about her boss.
“I used to be instructed that should you communicate up, your profession is over,” says the actress, who’s wed to The Strolling Lifeless‘s Jeffrey Dean Morgan, with whom she shares son Gus, 10, and daughter George, 2. “You’ll be labeled a troublemaker.”
Because of this, “I didn’t say something for a decade,” says Burton. “And because of that, folks had been abused after me. The guilt that comes with that’s actually tough.”
Now, Burton admits, “I’ll at all times be indignant” in regards to the abuse she endured. However she’s specializing in imparting the teachings she’s discovered to her younger daughter.
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“It impacts how I mother or father ,” she says. “She is going to by no means be a pleaser. If my daughter tells somebody to f— off, superior. I want I had had the flexibility to try this.”
Burton says she’s had conversations about her expertise with son Gus. “He is aware of one thing dangerous went down on that set and he asks me, ‘Why do you continue to do conventions for it? Why do you continue to speak about it?’ However I’m making a choice as an grownup to deal with the nice, to deal with the fan base and the crew and the truth that I obtained to be taught my craft day by day.”
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Continues Burton: “It was a beautiful alternative for me to stretch. And now that are on the market, all of us simply get to collectively give this sigh of reduction.”
In the end, she says she hopes “that sort of conduct is being flushed out of our business.” That stated, says Burton, “there’s nonetheless plenty of work to do.”
The Rural Diaries is on stands Could 5. Friday Night time In with the Morgans airs Fridays (10 p.m. ET) on AMC.